dismikadansova.

dira is currently in love...

2012-01-02T22:42:00.000-08:00

with post-rock. :)

can't you just see how awesome life is when you're lucky and shiz? you are lucky. be thankful. ok i'm so freaking random. i just need a sisterly or brotherly hug now. really.

little steps for my big '12.

2012-01-01T21:26:00.000-08:00

it's 2012 so my blog deserves a little vintage, weird makeover........... and a little story.

12am, 1st Jan '12. we watched fireworks together and he asked the most heart-thumping question ever. WOULD YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?

i stood there, in silence, gazing upon the lovely explosive flowers above the night sky for a few seconds. i knew it. i knew that he was going to take a step further. he gave a little push and asked, 'hey? did you hear me!?'. i gave out a very loud sigh, nearly cried and answered, 'please don't spoil the moment. look at that! so beautiful!' trying so hard to move my attention towards the fireworks. i didn't even look at him but i can sense that he was emotionally hurt. and yes, for the first time ever in my life, i rejected a man's 'girlfriend-boyfriend proposal', if that's what the society calls it. fuck society, really.

the thing is, i've had enough heartaches for 2011. i can't seem to have more any sooner. i just need a little, or maybe big, time for myself to chill and be single and never commit to anything except my pink hair. lolz. i love my pink hair more than boys. okay that's crap. i just need time. that's all.

hello daddy. hello mom.

2011-11-06T04:04:00.000-08:00

I'm your

chit chit chit chit chit chit chit chit

Cherry bomb!

Live your own life, fornicators!

life is like licking honey from thorns.

2011-11-03T07:17:00.001-07:00

I REALLY NEED SOME TIME. ALONE.

YES.

i feel like an idiot for running away like that. happy to see me cry now?

2011-11-01T06:52:00.000-07:00

dead letter circus. pendulum. the fucking barbican bottles. i'm still wearing your fucking badass earrings. i never want to take them off i don't fucking know why. your fucking nerdy glasses. your fucking sweater. sniffing the fucking coconut lotion. and the fucking red dress? it is fucking haunting me. i can feel your fucking presence here in this fucking room gosh like what the fuck see i can't stop fucking swearing. you want me to forget about you. why can't you just come here and take everything away?

don't watch me.

don't even try to care. fuck you i swear.

good luck with your new life.

you can torture her as much as you want to.

heartbreaking fornicators.

OD

2011-10-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

no no no. it's not working. why!? it's not working!

mind if i just OD it?

i swear i'm going to be just fine. i will float up high and land back home safely.

i love you, asshole.

hell oh.

2011-10-24T04:02:00.001-07:00

hate me?

oh good luck with that! :)

finals, much?

2011-10-21T19:52:00.001-07:00

are you happy enough to know that you're the only one who is a tip top, fucking perfect shit living in this amazing universe?

happiness.

2011-10-20T21:59:00.000-07:00

drugs and smoke on the water.

i can only feel it once, man. just once. yes, it is a big, sexual pleasure to begin with.

in the end, i guarantee that i will lose it all. don't go for me. i'm not anyone's type.

on a lighter note, i'm traumatized. and painfully happy. this awkward torture is just fucking pleasurable.

you're a fucking bastard.

2011-10-16T05:28:00.001-07:00

i freaking hate my jealousy.
but hey, after what you did to me, i'll just let karma do his/her work.

whyareyoudoingthistome.

2011-10-15T20:38:00.000-07:00

you: sikpa tahun depan ada.

me: hmm. waiting sucks.

you: then don't wait.

"tauk sik kmk sayang ktk?"

why are you here?

2011-10-06T06:26:00.001-07:00

because i'm dope.

forcing myself to talk.

2011-09-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

i tried. remember those hurtful texts you gave me? all i ever thought was that you're going to leave for good. you're so unpredictable and i feel so annoyed that every single moment i think about it my brain tries its' hardest to never explode. i am a psychotic emo bitch, as you may know. but my feelings for your behavior will never change. man i feel stupid sometimes. you don't talk that much and hey, don't you know how hard it is for me to look for an answer? if only one.

ok whatever.

just, don't worry about my feelings. it doesn't matter. at all. you're gonna leave this place sooner or later. along with its' memories. especially the ones involving me in it.

"tauk sik kamek sayang kitak?"

does it feel like a head to lean on?

2011-09-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

chipsless.

2011-09-21T08:17:00.001-07:00

thanks.

for everything.

this hurts more than rejections.

guess what.

2011-09-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

i miss my ex boyfriend. wtfwthomgstfulmfaoroflbbb.

from yesterday.

2011-09-13T05:20:00.001-07:00

:'(

no.

2011-09-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

no. nothing is going to be alright i tell you. nothing.

no matter how hard you may try. things like these are better left hanging on it's own.

you better leave. you better stay away from me. for your own good. i'm not going to put a fake smile and act like everything is fine. no. nothing is fine. i am slowly killing myself. slicing myself into tiger stripes.

just go. live your own life.

do it for me.

piscesthexxislands.

2011-09-11T19:53:00.000-07:00

please discover.

don't ever leave.

blade to the neck.

2011-09-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

i am seriously fucked up.

things are getting even worse. thanks.

all thanks to my so called kindness.

torture

2011-09-11T05:39:00.001-07:00

dira. always am.

one, two, you.

2011-09-11T00:12:00.000-07:00

save me from myself.

i would never die, never die like you.

2011-09-07T02:49:00.000-07:00

God bless the world, it's so glorious.

it's pain and it's monochromatic.

2011-09-01T17:21:00.001-07:00

things failed for a reason.

2011-07-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

So I woke up this morning. Unexpectedly early. Just a few minutes before my alarm should really ring into my ears on the bedside table. I can't go back to sleep. Immune to morning classes, perhaps? Scanned the bedroom. Everything's a real mess. It's like a guy has been living inside a girly flowery bedroom. Checked my phone. BBM-ing Nina is a must for every moment of my waking hour. It's like hell for not talking to her in a day.

A lot of things happened in just a short period of time. I never knew that those things would happen. Right now I no longer feel like a lady-child to be looked good upon. For I have made mistakes that no other human beings would do. Well if there are, welcome to the party. Isn't this the age where I should just do whatever I feel like doing and get the experiences that I can really learn from? Isn't this the time for me to discover the true colors of the monster in me?

But when I try to be honest, to admit my mistakes, to face the punishments or whatever you call it, why people can't accept that? Why do they have to like, immediately label me with a big particular sign on my forehead? When I try to fix things, it gets worse. So worse that only Allah knows how difficult it is for me to try to sleep with a peaceful mind every single night. Each and every single day, this big rheumatic heart gets broken and much more broken.

And who said that you can only have nightmares? When daymares are the ones who've been haunting you down in your reality - waking hours?

And who said that I can't be happy? When you know that you're the only one who's made me laugh like no one else's business?

And... well, some things are just meant to be this way. It's a matter of time - and trust.

I just have to face this like no one would actually care. Don't tell me that you love to be alone.

Whoever you are.

Cute camfreaks le exams.

2011-06-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

Ngawwwww. :3

2011-06-25T22:41:00.000-07:00

Late post. Apologies. *cat face* It was Gawai & Dex had an open house for the celebration. Met a lot of friends and all. Alfira, Kak Za, Zaza, just to name a few. OMG like seriously I miss times like these. Hanging out & stuff. Let these pictures do the talking. P.S. I miss my Yassy. :(

Nina oh Nina

2011-06-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

Same old thing. We meet. We became instant professional camwhores.

Like seriously I don't understand this sign. Only one conclusion. Death. You can never be a survivor..

Chrissy.

2011-06-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

I really, really love reading your blog.

It relates so much to my emotions and stuff. I kindda feel like the way you feel about stuff. I always have depression & everything. Sleep especially, I can't get myself into a deep sleep. Sometimes you feel like you're carrying the world on your shoulders & you just don't know what to do.

You have sudden major break downs. I hate that. :'( It's hard to be strong for the ones you love & at the same time being all sad & dark & eerie inside. I worry too much & am always afraid of what might happen in the future. And whenever I read books, I cry a lot, not the fact that the ending was bad or not up to expectations, but why life can't be as perfect as how the author imagined their stories to be. How the fictional characters in the book can really be so perfect.

The feeling that you're dying to run away from where you are now and be with someone you've longed for. I feel that way too. It's possible. But of course, like what you've said, we can't really have what we've always wanted. How we wish to have our favorite fictional characters to come to life, or have someone to be our perfect expectation without us creating them to be that way.

Blissful Sunday, ya think?

2011-06-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

(New Boyz Backseat music at the background)

My dad's an internet potato. He woke up at 11am, went to the toilet & went to the laptop straight away without any shower or breakfast until now. Literally. Oh daddy. -_-

Okay I admit it. I woke up at 11am too. And I miss my friend's birthday celebration at 10am. I was so pissed off. Wait, I even am. I feel like killing myself for sleeping late & waking up late every single fucking day. And to be honest, I don't have the energy to study. The drive to study. The ... I don't know. I feel like a fool now. I feel guilty. I feel like killing myself. I said that, right? I fucking hate myself. This is not blissful after all.

:'(

from Furry

2011-06-03T23:21:00.000-07:00

you know who you are.

(texts from 24th March 2011)

Z = Zebra.

Ur the black n white. Coz in the zebra crossing area, people must give way. So in other words, ur a zebra, cuz ladies first. Means that ur a must

Y for Yoyo.

Because I cant predict when ur going to roll up n down or spin. Haha. Y is also for Y****b. =p

X is for xXx.

Don't ask me why, ur horny the other day. Hahahahaha

W is for Wrestler.
I think ktk gaok n can wrestle me anytime which I think I will win. Huhuhuhuhu.

V is for Valentines Day.
hehe. Every girl loves to be remembered on any special day, shud be everyday. N i know u dolok mesti suk mun dpt valentine present. =p

U is for Understanding.
Me n u have mutual understanding. Somehow u understand me. =p

T is for Tambi.
Hahahaha. U like tall dark skin guy nak? Hahahahaha.

S is for Sexy.
Wohooo. Kembang idung la ya. S is for sabar as well. S for Sot? Hahaha. U penyabar org nya. Eventho u want to run wild, u know to run wild, u know ur limits. N one day that patience of urs will bear fruits. =)

R for Rebellious.
Hahahaha. Cukup la explanation di sia jak nak? =p

Q for Queen.
Any guy would make you their Queen. =)

P is for Pretty.
Yerr, yes ur pretty. Protective as well I might say. Powerful. Not!! U wish. Haha

O is for Orange.
Ur like the gong xi fa cai festival where orange is a beautiful color. =). N masam manis sikit2. U never know whether the orange masam or manis. Hahahaha.

N is for Notorious.
Or Nagging. I think u love to nag. n i like to listen sampe berbuih telinga. Hahaha

M is for Memorable.
Yeah, i think i skip this part. Im not ur bf so this one I leave it for my gf. Haha

L is for Lust?
Haha. L for Lambat. I think u memang lambat nk berkemas. Jangan marahhh. Haha.

K is for Kryptonite.
The only weakness for superman. Hehe.

J is for JEALOUSSSS.
HAHAHAHA. Ktk kuat jeles. Since u yg mengaku. Jeles naga. Hahahaha

I is for iPhone?
I think u don want that phone. Haha. =p

H is for handsome.
Which is me. Haha. Tettt. H is for hilarious. U know how to make people smile. :)

G is for Gangster.
I think u will beat me up one day. Haha G for Gaaaaoookkk. Haha. Gagah? Hahaha

F is for Furry.
Thats me. Haha. I think u used the word F most of the time. One is to call me Furry. One is either its fucking, freaking, fphttttttt. Hahaha.

E is for Enlighten.
Kedak crystal ball jak ktk belampu. Haha. Which means when there is darkness, u will be there to enlighten people. =)

D is for Dira.
Dangerous. Determination. Haha. Congrats on ur medal. U deserved it. Mesti ktk practise kaw kaw. =)

C for Cina.
Hahahaha. U do hv chinese look. Contagious. Ur like a drug, cant live without u. I mean the drug addict who are addicted to you. =p

B is Beautiful.
Or Blackberry. Hehe. Besar? Hahaha. I dint say which part besar ahh. Haha. Just joking with u. =p

A is for Apple.
An apple for a day will keep the doctor away. Stay healthy all the time dira. =)

<3<3<3

Ex.

2011-06-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

So yeah it's been awhile. Now I really do feel like talking. Things have been pretty (quite) hectic, especially when they're involved with boys. Guys (I mean boys, since they were so fickle minded) were like, hitting on me & stuff & a few days later they leave like goddamn shit ass pigs for no reason. Anger madness tsk tsk tsk.

That's why. I miss my ex-boyfriend. My loyal ex-boyfriend. Where are thou o dear ex-boyfriend?

:'(

2011-05-30T17:36:00.001-07:00

Like seriously, my blog is dying. NO! My blog will never die!

Will update sooner. :\

crap talk

2011-04-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

I vowed to a lot of things. A lot of impossible things. I was never strong and even now. I thought crying was the best and only way to let things go. But it was never. It's still the same. The feeling is still the same. All the wishes I've made every night before bed were never granted. All the tears were wasted. Whenever I need that particular someone, he'll never be there for me. But I was always there for him. Sacrificing every night just to be with him. Be there for him. Be really there for him. But why can't you do the same?

You said that you would never leave a girl alone. You promised. But baby, you broke it. Just like that in a blink of an eye. I hate crying. I hate this.

Impromptu speech practice at 3.

2011-04-04T01:47:00.000-07:00

I was shivering. Literally. Well it's just a practice and I was so lame but who cares ohmygod Dira study hard bah. Don't fucking waste your parents' money.

Train hard, Dira! Makaf senior coming soon!

xoxo

the thoughts you do recognize.

2011-03-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

I want to be free. I want to be happy. It sucks to be here. I want to be like her. I adore her. I want to be close to them. I want to go out. I want to have fun. I want to be better. I want to be prettier. I want to be skinnier. I want bigger boobs. I want longer hair. I want to be healthy. I want to cure this heart. I want to go out (again). I want to feel the air out of this house. I want to go away. I want good entertainment. I want better mutual understanding with my parents. I want them to understand my needs. Not their needs. I want a big sister. I need someone to help me. I need someone to share my feelings and problems with. I want to be motivated. But no one's here with me. My brother will never understand me so who else? I want a better boyfriend. Or I want him to be better. I want to scream out loud. I want to cry and have someone to comfort me.

I NEED SOMEONE TO COMFORT ME.

and I know it'll never happen.

I-feel-awesome photos.

2011-03-24T04:31:00.000-07:00

Fashion blogs you girls have to be envious about!

2011-03-16T05:14:00.000-07:00

Well, not literally envious. Let's say, inspirational. I love fashion blogs. It widens my fashion perspective. I don't really go out and see the big real world that much so understandably, my fashion knowledge is the perfect size of a small pee-NUT. Okay, I'm just joking. Where was I. Oh. Here, I show you my choice of the best of the best (not quite. not much discovered yet) fashion blogs I've ever seen. Check them out.

Lulu Letty

If you love anything vintage, classy, ladylike, you know, the very Marilyn Monroe sort of thing, country-like too, this lady from Michigan has it all. Love the bow headband by the way!

Best subject to look for: Her choice of dresses. Super awesome.

Cupcake's Clothes

The owner is a very sweet girl named Georgina, all the way from UK baby UK! (Wish I could go there.) All thigs cupcake-y, bunnies, cat, rainbows, bows, ribbons, all that girly wonderfulness! The one thing I really adore about her is that she has the courage & to be who she really is. Who says that being plus-sized holds you back from being super amazing & wonderful?

Best subject to look for: Accessories! And check out her online (handmade) accessory shop Dolly Mixx!

Fashiontoast

High fashion, Gossip Girl like, Upper East Side-y like, glamorous and outstanding! Is that what you're looking for? Then come right here! In case you never know the owner, her name is Rumi Neely. A mix breed of Japanese, Dutch and Scottish and held two titles in the Bloglovin' Awards 2011.

Best subjects to look for: Shoes! Hair! And great photography.

Well, those are the three best ones I can get so far. If there's more, I'll post them up. But it's human nature to be lazy so yeah. LOL. Just kidding. Happy blog-catwalking!

xoxo

2011-03-15T05:09:00.000-07:00

Just imagine. No, wait. There's nothing much to imagine. I'm bored. And I'm sad.

AND I NEED SOMEBODY.

:"(

Please read me before you go.

2011-03-14T05:03:00.000-07:00

In other ways, make it more, hmm, readable? Visitable? Okay. Since that karate has been a very broken past of my life, of course I would spend most of my time studying, print materials, be a geek, all that stuff. So, what about my blog? How to make it that 'alive'? Good entries with awesome pictures of course. And how to make good entries? Good stories, of course. And where should I get those good stories? My everyday life? Oh my God. My everyday life would basically be like this:

Wake up. Breakfast (at home). Shower. Get dolled up. Go to campus. No licence. Got my very own driver (Mom). Oh and for your info, I'm freaking Nineteen. You don't need to ask why I got no freaking licence. Back to story. Attend classes. Meet friends (at campus). After class. Go home. Gates locked. Turn on house alarm. Stuck in room. Can't go out. Can't meet friends. Sit in front of laptop. Study. Observing room. Call friends. Friends want to bring out for dinner. Can't go out. Parents too strict. Still remain at home. Doing nothing. Lay on bed. Sleep early. Nothing great happened on that particular day. Wake up. Do the same thing all over again. 24/7. 25/8. 26/9.

Now tell me, how am I going to create great stories from that (awfully) boring everyday life? Any suggestions? Yes this is the chance for you, people, to hit me with bombs and everything. It's not that I'm not thankful. Sometimes, I just feel like I need something more out of these things I've been through. I want adventures. I can't stay at home all the time like a 12 year old. I'm freaking nineteen. I repeat that. I'm freaking nineteen. I envy those of my friends who were able to hang out & have fun among themselves. Yes, I understand my dear strict family. I'm the first daughter. First child. First grandchild. Of course, which family wouldn't expect so much from the 'First'? Why can't my family just believe in me? Okay. I don't want to babble about that. It might be too harsh. My teenage angst might explode BAHARHARHARHARHAR.

Back to the keeping-my-blog-alive thing.

I must bring my camera EVERYWHERE, EVERY TIME. Be fashionable. Snap this snap that. Post on blog. And we'll see what we can get from there. :)

xoxo,

dira dismika dansova.

2011-03-07T05:35:00.001-08:00

now you're telling lies by secrets that you're keeping.

Now I really do feel like talking.

2011-03-02T21:38:00.000-08:00

Everything has been very hectic. Very. I'm struggling with my sexuality. I miss my boyfriend. I can sense that we're going to break up very soon after the heavily hectic scene occurred at KL. Misunderstanding. Blaming here and there. Of course people will never believe my words. My words are full with lies & hatred, like they said. I've won two Gold medals along with two trophies and my parents never even care about looking at them. I was slapped by my father yesterday. And everything. I cried for three days in a row. I miss my best friends. I miss Syltrie especially. She's my one and only savior, despite the major differences we have. I can never find anyone who could wipe my tears and tell me everything's going to be alright, even though deep inside trouble may always come. I miss writing songs. Since I've been quitting Karate and be grounded, I could use this spare time to write songs, find some inspiration. Isn't that true?

Let's start penning everything. That's my way of releasing inner thoughts. :)

and so i'm waiting for a dream that will never come true.

2011-01-16T08:48:00.001-08:00

talk about Two Oh One Oh

2011-01-11T06:20:00.000-08:00

(skip introduction if you hate me talking cheesy)

2010. Last year kindda suck for me. Really. I've made a lot of mistakes. A lot. I betrayed a friend, disappoint a friend, broke a promise, facebooked too much, etc. But there are some moments where I don't feel really (okay. not really) regret doing. I've made new friends, met new people, won two medals for the state, got my name in the history of sports (?), went to Jakarta for the very first time, won a baby cousin, won two boyfriends, kissed two boyfriends, kissed a girl, bought a bikini, etc. Oh well, these pictures explain everything. And I only post the best pictures of the year.

SUKMA 2010. The girls in the team. We sleep together, punch with each other, fell in love with each other, won anything with each other, what else.

Won money & medal ohmygod I know, you're jealous, I know.

Jakarta! Okay, what's the name of that place? Oh! Taman Safari! Happy People! The Cowboy Show!

The hot mom and the hot dad. Jakarta museum.

Yeah yeah Dira was fat okay WAS FAT.

Here I introduce, Nina Eki. The most annoying, lovable cousin I ever had. Sumpah. :3

The vainest photoshoot we ever had.

Mom and Arief Eki, Nina's baby brother. Be jealous because i have the cutest cousin ever ohmygod HARHARHARHAR.

Mak's convocation. Congratulations Mak. Pass with Distinction. :)

and met Sherah (best friends since Primary One) after the convo, pretended to be graduates too. Yeah little eighteen year olds playing dress ups.

Hang out with friends, cousin Naim and unexpected aunty Tiqah, behind the camera. Yeah.

Christmas visit at Abang's house. Met a few friends from campus.

Not to forget these two brothers i love the most, Job and John.

2011-01-10T21:48:00.000-08:00

Let's face it. You're bored. You don't freaking hell know what to do. Your blog is useless. Ouch ouch. You need some inspiration. You need something new. It's two thousand and eleven and your life still feels the same. You love reading but you prefer blogs than books. Okay here, people, are the best blogs (from the taste of my eyes) i would recommend you to follow and read until you surely die. Click on the links and bedazzled!

Hanis Zalikha

http://inibelogsaya.blogspot.com

Liliana Mardiana

http://www.dangobunny.com

Fatin Liyana

http://honeykoyuki.blogspot.com

Stacey Mujan (hey girl I love you! sorry for the picture!)

http://staceymujan.blogspot.com

Irene Cheen (sexy bitch sexy bitch yeah)
http://www.rnnhc.blogspot.com

Wedy

http://thelittleorangesocks.blogspot.com

Jezmine!

http://jezmineblossom.blogspot.com

and last but not least.

DIRA DISMIKA DANSOVA HARHARHARHARHARHARHAR!

http://runharidan.blogspot.com

2010-12-29T22:41:00.000-08:00

yes. this guy right here beside me.

the picture above was taken years ago. okay. not really years as in so many years ago. well, actually, i don't remember when, that's why. sorry cheetah! hehe. let's talk about him. Suffree.

he's the one who comforts me whenever i feel like dying, or feel down, whatever.

he would be there for me when i need someone, anyone, everyone.

he dares to punch assholes who broke my heart, body, soul.

he teaches me new skills on how to kick ass, break bones, break necks, break legs.

he would talk to me whenever i feel lonely, emo, unstable.

he would call me every single night & never fail to ask how's my day, where did i go, how do i feel, how are my boobies.

he would give me good advices on how to run my life, business, family etc (ok that sounds weird)

he takes good care of me wherever i go, whatever i do, no matter how old i would be.

at melaka SUKMA. i miss everything about that, really.

and this is him today he's a keeper. trust me.

i'm sorry! i rant most of the time & i suck at putting you to sleep with my stories! teehee!

2010-12-23T01:14:00.000-08:00

don't you just looove my soaked out brown black hair & perfectly shaped eyebrows?

i swear i have the most boring blog ever. i don't have good stories & i spend most of my time at home & the dojo, surrounded by hot sweaty muscular guys coming over me saying that i'm hot. okay that's made up already. i'm just deadly (bored) vain.

i need a story.

i got no fucking boyfriend. my fucking ex is into some other chick. my semester break will be all about studying & training. no wait, there will be a tournament on February. awesome. i can actually get out from here & do something with my crazy friends. oh my best friend is back home & she will go back to campus on January. i must hang out with her as soon as possible.

i plucked my eyebrows this morning & it felt fucking awesome. i shampooed my hair twice last night & it felt fucking awesome. i slept at 2AM & it felt fucking awesome. i trained like a kung fu panda last night & it felt fucking awesome. i was supposed to study but i ended up blogging & it felt fucking awesome. oh shit i have to study.

buh bye.

2010-12-21T21:38:00.000-08:00

obsessed with fake eyelashes, leopard prints, dresses, vain pictures, etc.

i'm all back to karate training (give me a yeay!) & my thigh hurts so bad from that all-of-a-sudden jog & semi-sumo wrestling (?). so yeah i've been blogwalking & discovered this super great blog created by Hanis Zalikha. yes yes i'm so outdated i know that she's the hot stuff everyone's been talking about. seriously i've never heard anything about her. yes i don't watch malay movies that much. that's why. so yes if you're like me (the typical outdated-idk-about-anything type of person), here's the link & be dazzled!

http://inibelogsaya.blogspot.com

so there you go! be dazzled. be dazzled. BE DAZZLED!

2010-12-20T21:48:00.000-08:00

those mad eyebrows can't get any madder & those big ol' cheeks can't get any bigger. laugh while you can.

good morning. no wait. just woke up. good afternoon. i had the worst nightmare last night & at some weird moments i get girly boners (?) like yeah i'm feeling so high. no wonder i look horny in the picture above. okay enough trash talk zippp it.

anyway.

i borrowed a few books from the library yesterday. maths, calculus, physics, organic chemistry, C++. a preparation for the next two months. i have to study real good (did you mean, hard?) in order to join SUKMA. please i want to join them real bad. i don't want to stay at home & watch my SUKMA friends on TV. i want to BE WITH MY SUKMA FRIENDS ON TV HARHARHARHARHAR! okay. need to hit those books for now. happy holidays. wait. happy birthday jobby & john. you guys are the best. 22nd december. :) i love you brothers till my heart stops beating. wow! :D

that's job. that's dira. that's john.

2010-12-18T06:58:00.000-08:00

antonio.

and i got it all figured out. thanks to my paranoia. i should have, instead, listen to more on what my paranoia would predict. the moment you confessed about that girl, i was like damn (!) bingo (!) with my mind scattering and emotions spin into one big ass washing machine junk (okay that's pathetic). well you see, that breakup 'reason' you gave me was so not logic i could puke on you forever. so what now? my mother? what's so hard about being with me if my mother's temper and strictness are way better than a dragon's? (nagaaa) oh so i thought that you've known me for like, what, three years (?) and shared goody good nice tween memories together, it doesn't mean that we CAN be together! even though you're the hardcore disgusting mucus on my wooden bedroom floor it doesn't mean that i can't scrub you off (urm okay that doesn't make sence dira)! okay so i've been ranting.

let me cut this short.

you left me a few weeks ago. you promised not to never leave me. to always love me. i still remember that, boy. and all of a sudden, you met someone else. and the moment i viewed her profile (facebook duh) of course i was like "oh-she-went-to-the-same-college-as-you-are-duh-and-she's-pretty-duh-and-she's-skinnier-than-me-ohmygod-duh" you know yeah those stupid rants that you hate the most. can't you just see HOW EASY YOU'VE CHANGED?

i can't differentiate your gifts now. are they just gifts or gifts-gifts-attraction-gifts? what are your iloveyous stand for? what is "let's-hang-out-with-you-dad-i-love-your-dad-your-dad-is-so-cool" stands for?

even though i've known you for three what so ever years, now i can see the real you. yes we can still be friends but that will take a lot of time. you know how my temper goes don't you? i am not that easy, antonio. i've learned a lot. i'm stronger than you can ever imagine. so what if i am vain? i'm confident, baby.

cuz i have my friends and family who will always care for me

UNLIKE YOU.

2010-12-18T00:06:00.000-08:00

i'm grounded.

i'm phoneless.

i can't text or call anybody.

life is so nice.

2010-12-17T23:48:00.001-08:00

don't come to me like it's still happening.

don't pretend, boy.

2010-12-06T22:16:00.000-08:00

emo post beware:

i miss you. you know that. i really do. wishing that you were here. or maybe i would go home and see you. only if i could. because we know, we can't be together like we used to. i hate dreaming about you. i just want to meet you. don't you even get that, moron? don't leave me please. just don't. it hurts so much if you do. watching you from the video phone. worrying about you. i hate this. seriously. i need you. badly. please come here. i need your hug. your big bear muscular hug. i miss that sayang. ;')

2010-11-28T07:08:00.000-08:00

dont worry, mek x tinggal kan ktk cemya jak

mek still contact ktk

walaupun kita jarang dpt jumpa pastok

and i hope that you will keep to those words. forever.

2010-11-26T06:43:00.001-08:00

another nice fucking breakup. very nice.

2010-11-05T08:12:00.000-07:00

"but you'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind."

2010-11-05T06:06:00.000-07:00

mi tang wamoza:

kmk on9 aher ckit ok. mcm biasa ujong mggu. tengok movie ngn family kat living room. lepas movie abis kita chat ok. i lap u. u lap me. we bekilat. muah

2010-11-04T06:54:00.000-07:00

sabar jak lah dira. ku pun siktauk pahal nya macam ya. tiba-tiba emo. ku happy salah. ku emo salah. apa jak benda ku sebut, hancur berderai jak dunia. kenak semua benda ku molah salah oh. semua jak salah. apa yang polah ku cemtok? mungkin aku perlu diam jak. jadi pendiam. cakap bila perlu jak. tapi nya boring oleh aku kelak. kan? hmph. cemya ajak nya chow. macam ku tok patong jak. sikhal lah. better to finish my assignments.

ingat dira. control your temper. chill. kenak jak benda-benda cemtok, gine-gine pun rasa nya, rasa macam muka kenak hentak bata meja kayu apa pun, SABAR jak dira.

of course it hurts.

that's what we call Life.

btw. i miss the Old you. yes. the old you, antonio.

2010-11-04T03:58:00.000-07:00

i need to change.

Dira, you need to change. Must. Need. Indeed.

stop hurting other people. stop being too selfish.

you're too damn selfish. think further. beyond.

look at yourself in the mirror. what do you see?

you. you see you, Dira.

and you know that there is something evil deep inside.

so, change.

think about it.

THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR SELF IMPROVEMENT.

2010-11-02T22:36:00.000-07:00

at De Lounge. skipped E. Maths class.

and i love it here. :)

2010-11-02T03:15:00.001-07:00

cute thing.

so Mi Tang wanted the Plants Versus Zombies. gave the file to him. and i hope that he won't screw his Finals. you hear that Mi Tang? you hear that? if you play games too much, i will fuckhhhing kill you! seriously! nah. look who's talking! HARHARHARHARHARHAR!

and we watched The Annoying Orange together at KRP's restaurant, laughed like no one's business! gila weh. my favorite episode of Orange's would be 'Wazzuuuuuup!' like seriously, the irritating greeting of Wazzup is freaking funny. instead of 'Hi's and 'Hello's. you meet one friend and Wazzupp, comes another friend and Wazzupp, comes another and another, the Wazzupp would be endless. okay, trash talk. -_-"

it's awesome that campus have this cool place for people to hang out, De Lounge! freaking awesome. especially for those anti-social people. well, for me, i feel it that way. i could just buy my lunch, go straight away to De Lounge and play games, play guitar, sleep, or any other shiznits. i think i've found my heaven. well, not really. kind of.

okay. it's DoTa time!

(quite depressing that Mi Tang hates Dota. hmph.)

2010-11-01T03:29:00.000-07:00

the very first day of November.

hello it's November. wow. oh wow.

just had my Plants Versus Zombies session. best game in the whole wide world. oh oh! "...brains~! brains~! brains~!.."

HARHARHARHAR! cutest zombies ever. i know. the perfect cure to boredom, stress & loneliness. it's true! so try it yourself. thanks to classmate Cassie! cutest girl gamer ever.

actually i'm quite sick but my boyfriend didn't give a damn. weird. well, he's always like that. not even a single piece of advice like "take care dear blahblah get some rest blahblah" etc. of course i need his attention. he's my boyf for crying out loud! i don't know.

Life.

as long as my ass is still sticking on games and The Annoying Orange,

I might be fine.

ohhh. assignments. hurry Dira get them done!

2010-10-31T07:28:00.000-07:00

if only there is someone out there who understands you truthfully. life here is too lonely. time goes by without us knowing it's too late. you always have yourself sitting by the corner all alone waiting for some alert or noise that could wake you up. you were surrounded by so many people yet you still feel so alone. the beautiful memorable things you did back then flashes in your mind. you could not even help yourself but cry. you cry. and cry. without people knowing.

and i miss life when each & everyone of you were here by my side.

things have changed.

we know that.

2010-10-31T06:13:00.000-07:00

why do we even have haters. hmph.

I wear make-up, so I’m plastic? I speak my mind, so I’m a bitch? I cry, so I’m an attention seeker? I speak to boys, so I’m a slut? I like getting my picture taken, so I love myself?

2010-10-31T03:27:00.000-07:00

SO IT'S SUNDAY.

a kind-of-great day, actually. went out with Mi Tang and Ajiz. had lunch with them & also Derex & Shaz. then bought birthday card for CukMoi. then Nina B texted me, saying that she's hanging out with my Mak for a movie. damn jealous lah Dira. and Mak became a Vampireeeeh last night during the shiznit Halloween Party at i-don't-even-remember-where. Jealous. can you even smell my jealousy already? can you? can!? nah. bought new pair of shoes! will wear them tomorrow to campus yeay! freaking bored with my same-old-same-old flip flops. no, it's not that i'm fashionable. it's the fact that my financial matters are quite near to be called as 'at stake'. but don't worry. will go to the next side of the country to watch Mak graduate. i love you Mak. she owed me shopping for one whole day at KLCC. yeah. :) i can't wait. new handbags! Mak promised Mak promised! can't wait to watch her graduate. anyweh, must get my things done tonight. please, Dira, do not ever Procrastinate! you're so good at it i just want to kill you.

beerrgghh.

2010-10-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

dira.

sabar.

this is life.

2010-10-21T21:56:00.000-07:00

TALENT SHOW tonight!

this is Eric Zin Min Lwin. Burmese. :)

eric & i will perform the song Broken, originally by Seether and Amy Lee. wish us the best of luck! danggg i'm nervous! <3

2010-10-21T06:31:00.001-07:00

malaaa jak klaie. malaaa jak klaie.

sama2 ego tinggi. siapa mok mengalah? sikda orang.

lak lah I cuba mengalah. abis polah essay tok.

2010-10-20T04:09:00.000-07:00

READ THESE SHITS AND DIE.

yesterday and today. 19th of Oct & 20th of Oct. (psst! 20th of Oct! 20.10.2010! luckehhh.) like, the two of the most historical days of my entire life. okay yesterday, Paramore concert. who the hell never wanted to go? can you guys at least perform here? i know it's so damn boring here but for the sake of your far away fans! oh hayley. we love you. heartbreaking. X"(

yesterday was the last day of our Chemistry Lab assessment. yes! no more stress! group stress! position stress! whatever stress! hey hey tomorrow! Physics practical assessment. Har. Har. Har. well lucky me, i'm going to be the Apparatus Officer! yes yes very lucky. no calculating jobs. i'm so damn lucky i could die.

so yeah today! skipped morning classes. went to clinic. i was having slight fever & flu for like, a week. not even one single person would ever care. yes. i need attention. luckily dad brought me to the clinic. get some medications & consult with the doctor. best doctor ever. she listened to every single desperation, depression & confession that i blurted out. best, i tell you. yeah i cried. she said "Problems are not meant to be bottled up. find someone dira let it all out. too dangerous to keep it to yourself all the time." yeah i can just let it all out to my boyfriend but sometimes it would be such a burden to him. seeing me being emotional every single time.

went for Chemistry lecture at 2.30pm. seriously, i was so damn hardworking! i jot down notes & whatever shit. usually i used to daydream during any lectures. but today, i don't know. felt relieved. maybe it's because of the best doctor. yeah. :) big wide smile. and also boyfriend's best advices for me to handle stress & whatever shit. ILY dickhhhead.

didn't get a chance to talk to rozanna today. mmhmm. well yeah that's all. oh oh! celebrated dad's birthday on the 18th of Oct. brought him for dinner at Chicago 7. i regret. i will never eat go to that place again. the food sucks. big time. seriously.okay i don't want to complain. i cried on that day cuz i miss mom and ashraff so damn much. hmmm. Life.

2010-10-05T07:44:00.001-07:00

DDIIRRAA!!

stop influencing yourself with negative thoughts!

STOP PROCRASTINATING & START STUDYING!

GROW UP DIRA GROW UP!!!

2010-10-03T07:49:00.001-07:00

so.

he wants me to change.

after this big massive ass-geek fight we had. of course i cried like shit i would never miss that. and that's the same thing my ex told me when i was fifteen. okay yes i'm using the give-and-take method right now. sometimes i just have to let loose & give him the way. to see what will definitely happen.

will i change into someone better?

will i change into something i'm not?

will i change & be comfortable with the new me?

vice versa?

i don't know. kita tengok saja lahhh.

2010-09-29T02:58:00.000-07:00

DIRAAA! WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!

*a little vain-regret-moment post. bear with it.*

i seriously need a new life. like, seriously. with a little twist of the old life. i fucking miss karate. i miss sweating. i miss pumping up getting real down and sweat like hell. i used to have super freaking nice, hard, flat abs & at this moment, it's PERFECTLY round. well, i don't know. hard to judge this fatty tummy. my legs were so damn muscular & toned. damn it i miss those legs! and my arms were so damn lean & toned. if i poke you, you might suffer a thousand years of pain. HARHARHARHAR! (-__-) i was tanned i even looked like jessica alba! with those light brown hair of mine! (damn dira, you're so vain.) oh my god i SWEAR I FREAKING MISS THE OLD TIMES.

and i must reach these goals. one step at a time.

i seriously need to EXERCISE.
i seriously need to GET FIT.
i seriously need to STUDY HARD.
i seriously need to STOP BEING TOO EMOTIONAL.
i seriously need to BE ALERT.
i seriously need to BE MYSELF & BE COMFORTABLE ABOUT IT.

:-D

2010-09-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

hard for me to blog if i don't know the explanation of life.

;"(

2010-09-22T04:03:00.000-07:00

SYARULNIZA NGEGEH.
sayang! happy birthdayyy! all the best in everything you do in life okay? be a good girl listen to mummy daddy don't be too stubborn study hard study smart! okay dear? i know you can. i'll sing for you if we bump into each other. AMINNN.

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!

2010-09-13T00:02:00.000-07:00

if it makes you happy,
then why the hell are you so sad?

2010-09-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

antonio.

kenak nasib ku gitok? hari raya gik ya. first day gik ya. dah gitok. bangun pagi esok hari, kedak panda. sampe kazen pun tego. sampe kazen pun marah, pahal mala nangis. i know. kmk emo. salu emo. sik tentu pasal. ktk madah ktk sayang kmk. walaupun halangan selalu ada. ktk madah tauk nok ne baet, nok ne jaek. because kita dah lamak kenal. sik akan tinggalkan kmk lagik. akan tetap polah kmk senyum. polah kmk happy. tetap sayang ngan kmk. berapa lamak dah kita kenal? berapa kali dah ktk molah kmk gitok? perlu kah kmk hadapi semua tok again & again? perlu kah? should i face your ignorance that would last for months? make you forget me? and come back to me again & again? i know, so confusing. kmk kedirik sik paham. kenak ngan kmk, nasib kita gitok, ngan orang laen sik. i know. i'm the cause for all of this shit. and you have to face it & leave me several times. kmk dah lamak bersabar. kmk tauk ktk pun dah lamak bersabar. and pernah hadapi benda yang sama kedak tok. kmk dah maafkan ktk.
i still do love you.

mungkin ktk perlu kebebasan. so yeah, i'm giving it to you.

2010-09-03T04:53:00.000-07:00

wow. imagine! i've been crying for like, six or seven days in a row. i know oh shitty it was. i can't stand it. life is hard. there's nothing much i can do to prove to them that i'm right. well, i'm just lame. i can only ruin things. make things fall. make everything fall. make my own life miserable. hmmm. life.

2010-09-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

being a dick.

it ain't easy being a dick. i've got a head i can't think with. an eye i can't see out. i have to hang around with two nuts all the time. my closest neighbor is a real asshole. my best friend is a pussy. and every time i get excited i throw up. ;(

wth! ;P

2010-08-30T07:34:00.001-07:00

surely, you would never understand.

2010-08-18T07:01:00.000-07:00

forever we will stay, like a pyramid. ;D

2010-08-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

dear bloggie,

daddy's home. finally. i can sleep on my very own bed with my very own smelly pillow & smelly welly blanket. seriously it's not that smelly. it smells so good, you would love to sleep along with me. eeww. just kidding. and i hope i'll be fasting tomorrow. so yeah, just have to wait.
yeah! just got my first assignment! hope that i won't screw up. foundation is quite tough. and i'm having my headache now. okay okay dira this is life. live with it! come on girl don't be such a princess grow up! ;D <3

i love ice cream. craving.

2010-08-13T19:21:00.001-07:00

everything is turning upside down.
and i miss you.

must get my physics notes done. :)

2010-08-11T05:34:00.000-07:00

dear NIZA and HONEY and FIFFY,
*READ it like you mean it or DIE like you don't want to ;-P*

hey sayang how are you girls? i know. how lame it is to write you girls a 'letter-note-whatever' here in my blog. sorry for being too lame sistahs. this thing just came into my mind. ;-P okay anyway, i know, the three of you promised to never go online that much because of SPM and PMR and yes i know the three of you are onlining well hell much behind me *especially fiffy, tumblr!* it's okay i get it i was your age and i can't live without facebooking even for a day. so yes i'm guilty HARHARHARHARHARHARHAR! okay here it is. all the best in SPM and PMR sayangs. niza and honey, i still have your presents here sayangs. still don't have much time to post them to the both of you *sorry honey sorry niza* didn't have free time to go to town the places i would ever go is campus and home campus and home campus and homeeeeee -___-"" and fiffy sorry i didn't bought anything for you hopefully next time i'll give ya something okay??? I'M VERY VERY VERY VERY SORRY GIRLS. forgive me the three of youuu. okay? raya aidilfitri bah mestilah maaf zahir dan batin *eh betul kah?* HARHARHARHAR! forgot already didn't realize that raya is so going to be soon ;-) okay. seriously, i miss the three of you. i miss karate. yeah. the three of you AND karate. seriously. no i'm not joking. hey don't laugh!!! LOL. hahaha okay okay. please study hard do this for me the three of you please? haiyaaaaa i know lah you people orang sabah and sorang alien labuan jaoh jaoh i know you girls don't rindu me maaaa ;-P okay okay let's get serious. i miss yah! study hard & smart. don't be naughty like sister dira, seriously, i'm telling you. don't be. bahava! be a good girl. be a good daughter. jadi anak yang solehah. supaya senang mencari bakal suami yang solehah HARHARHARHARHAR! *oh god still i can't be serious.* the three of you, don't let me down. promise me to be the best in everything you love to be in *???* and STAY AWAY from drugs & cigarettes & pre-marital sex. again, don't be like me. no it's not that i've done those drugging and smoking and sex, NOOO, just don't be bad and naughty that's enoughhh. okay? any problem, just come to me and share i may be busy but i will be trying m best to help you girls becaue i love you. honey, follow what the doctor told you okay? don't be too stubborn. if i can do it, so can you. okay sayang? drink lots of water please girls take good care of your health. mmuuaahhxx I LOVE YOU GIRLS. TAKE CARE. BE SWEET. BE NGEGEH. YEAHHH.

xoxo, dira. :)
*seriously, writing this letter makes me feel like i have three daughters hahahahaha!*

2010-08-08T01:05:00.000-07:00

yesss! i'm officially a curtin student!

let's get busy ;D

2010-08-02T04:11:00.000-07:00

kamekrindukitak. sumpah.

;"((

2010-07-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

a promise to myself! a promise to myself! since that i'm not that very active in karate anymore & i'm getting fatter & chubbier than ever & tough school's about to start, i must:

exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!
exercise! don't eat too much! study hard! study smart!

2010-07-26T03:22:00.000-07:00

must

stop

acting

childdd.

2010-07-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

gonna miss yah NINA EKI. ;')

2010-07-22T07:33:00.000-07:00

i know. imissyou hot stuff.

2010-07-21T03:18:00.000-07:00

in this kind of complicated & complex situation we're putting ourselves into, it'll hard for us to stay longer. all i ever wanted was to accept reality as it is. be whoever we wanted to be. you know what we're up to. you know the exact thing to do. i'm getting sick of reminding the same thing every single time. there's no need to say more. for last.

because imyinyily. ;')

2010-07-19T03:09:00.000-07:00

usher's OMG makes me hornyyy. HARHARHARHARHAR! sorry. and Marie Digby's Sweet Dreams is a perfect lullaby. anyway. i talked way too fucking much today. seriously! hell no idea! teaching those kids were awesome. will bring them for a trip to culture village. or was it, cultural village? idk & idc.

see? trash talk. imy asshole.

2010-07-15T23:03:00.000-07:00

just wait and see.
i know that he'll forgive me someday.
because, that's what friends are for.
and i will never, ever forget the world that i came from.
please, watch your mouth and let it go.

we're eighteen, remember?

2010-07-15T02:05:00.000-07:00

SHITTT.

2010-07-14T18:40:00.000-07:00

emo post. beware:

whatever hopes you've been creating a few zingzangs ago *i mean, hours or moments* will always be what you've never expected. seriously, i miss home. i know. but kuching here is still great. yes, of course it's better than home. but what i truly miss about home is the existence of friends. home friends, i mean. friends from home, same. all that i can truly feel is that sukma was just like yesterday and now, i have my ass stuck here until the 30th of july. thought that it'll be on the 24th of july. how amazinggg. extension. so humans, you can see that i'm terribly missing home. well, of course, i have my sweet sixteen year old cousin here to be my 24/7 companion. at least she's there to listen to all of my emo problems and stuff. we need a friend. everyone needs a friend. who doesn't? hmmmm. apparently, i met a home friend! at least, that can cure my homesickness a little bit, but still. something is missing. i need him. i miss him. yes, that 'him' i'm talking about is from home. i bet that we will never, ever meet each other again like we used too. well, maybe we could. we'll try to work things out. set up some dates. if possible. but i know it will never be. sometimes, i wonder. how will i ever live without him.

lame, isn't it? no one would ever understand.

life.

2010-07-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

dunia yang penuh dangan hipokrit!
bila gik ku mok 'bebas' tok? aku tak tahan.
eyo eyo eyo.

;')

2010-07-04T03:21:00.000-07:00

hello blank page. i'm absolutely weirdly & randomly happy right now & i don't even know why. slap me please. oh my oh my. okay, i will start furthering my studies this coming august & i caaaaaaaaan't wait. seriously, why? why the rush? why the butterflies in my tummy? why the weird dreams? hmmm.

imy. ;')

2010-07-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

i know. it's been awhile. my tummy is killing me. i miss doing things that i've been lovingly doing before. karate & whatever else. i can't run. seriously. this pain is KILLING meeee. i walk like a pregnant woman. -__-"" i'm serious! don't laugh please. oh well you can. well, just a bit. not too loud. it kills my eardrums. *patheticcc* okay. so here i am. in kuching. will stay here for like, a month. i know. i miss everything. here. you might yawn:

i miss my bedroom. i miss antonio. i miss my bed. i miss my fan. i miss my books. i miss my kitchen. i miss drinking water from the water filter at home. i miss my bathroom. i miss my toilet seat. i miss my bathroom sink. i miss my dirty bathroom, actually. i miss my parents' bed. i miss bouncing & jumping on it. i miss my living room. i miss my sofa. i miss my signature red sofa chair whatever it's called. i miss makju. i miss makju's house. i miss makju's cooking. i miss makju's little children. batrisyia, firaz, damia. those cute little chipmunks. i miss stealing food from makju's house. *sorry makju* i miss lutong. i miss KRP. i miss the toilet. i miss the lounge. i miss the lobby. i miss the lobby's sofas *again, sofas!* i miss machinda hall. i miss machinda hall's stage. i miss why gym. i miss the gym equipments. i miss the dojo. i miss training. i miss my karate gi. i miss my karate gloves. i miss my friends. i miss miri. hmmm. i miss *him* especially.

oh by the wayyy. it's HAANII LOREA'S birthday. let's sing together.
happy birthday to you. happy birthday to you. i know that i'm such a goo. oh honey i love you.
yeayyy. blow candles. make a wish little bitch. :D
all the best in everything you do in life. be a good girl. listen to mumy dady sissy brothy whaty whaty yeay yeay *nonsense* study hard & smart. semoga panjang umur & murah rezeki sayaaaaaang amin! don't make your loved ones cry like hell be a good girl okay *agaaaain* mmuuaahhxx!

2010-06-21T02:47:00.000-07:00

SUKMA: won two bronze medals! individual kata & team kata! aliq won silver in kumite. awesome. a little something for sarawak. iloveyousarawak! :) will upload some sukma pictures in facebook. hmmm. i miss sukma. seriously. i miss the screaming & cheering & meeting people. such an adventure. :D especially him. i miss him so so so so so *countless* much! i miss my coach. i miss my teammates. i miss some friends from other teams. they're awesome. i miss singing patriotic songs. well, some of you might be thinking 'well, sing on your own at home then!' but that's not what i meant. i miss singing with a bunch of high spirited people celebrating glory & what so ever arrgghh I MISS EVERYTHINGGG! from sleeping with my lovely roommate to shopping at Jusco & museum tours. hmmm. ;') i want to go for sukma, again! 2012, i must get readyyy!

2010-06-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams."

- dr seuss

2010-06-02T04:46:00.000-07:00

i love you sarawak.

byebyeee. :)